Simon - Truth - Ishmam

I feel absolutely rotten.
I can no longer think, for that the pain is unbearable.
The sickening smell has gotten to me.
I am on the edges of the underworld.
The pig.
The head of the pig.
The head of the pig on a stick.
Its the Lord of the Flies.
God help us.
Only you can.
Only you can rid us of our suffering.
I must tell the rest.
Before it is too late.
It is too late.
But I cannot let go yet.
That is, while I still have my precious sanity that is my life with me.
Lord help us.
I must tell them that we are the beast.
We are all fools.
I must tell them the beast cannot be hunted.
It cannot be touched.
It is an unfeasible force.
It's putrid aurora wreaks of all of the wrongdoings of Man.
We are the beast.
Me, Ralph, Piggy.
No escaping now.
But I must tell them while I still can.
We are the manifestation of the beast.
This world.
All of us.
The beast is our product.
The beast is the devil.

Simon - Ishmam - Chapter 5

Today was an absolute mess. For some reason, I am not surprised. It is as if I already subconsciously accepted that this would happen. It is as if I am ready to embrace death. I don't know the connotation behind that, but certainly no sane person would think this way. After what happened last time, I just cannot simply expect anything less.

Order in this group is falling apart to say the least. For the lack of a better word, this group is now divided. There are the hunters, and then there are the rest. The hunters are getting more and more violent and less and less human, in my opinion. Things are as bad as they already are, but now on top to that, we now have a discrepancy in power.

One can almost forget that there is someone in charge just by looking at us. We run around in circles accomplishing absolutely nothing. We seem to have forgotten what our goal was, now we are just trying to survive. I have lost all hopes of rescue. Even if time comes for that, it will be an escape rather.

Today, Ralph tried to get things straight today.

He tried talk about how people were taking shorts near the food, how the hunters are completely disregarding the fire, and how no one helped with the shelters.

Then the littlun beastie talk came up. Everything went downhill from there.

All I did was go to the place where I always go, and the littluns stir up a frenzy about a beastie.

Then Jack took the conch. He was yelling like a maniac, but he promised to hunt down the beastie.

My head hurts thinking about this.

Ralphs position is at stake. We are losing order. We are getting farther and farther away from society, from being human. If Ralph loses it, we are all done. Piggy, the littluns, all of us. Power is being shifted towards Jack, but in the wrong way and I dont like it.

We are doomed.

Simon - Ishmam - 2/4/15

I swear to you things are getting worse and worse. Its not my imagination anymore. I cannot comprehend the rate of escalation. It was as if something was behind all of this. As if something is pushing all of this profound negativity. I cannot simply comprehend why we are going at this direction. I am now fearing for my life again. But this time, it's not the fear of dying in the wilderness. I am fearing for my life because of people like Jack and the hunters. What are they thinking? What is Jack thinking? I am fearing that the hunters shall be the last thing I see. I am fearing that the hunters will lose it all and go rogue killing everyone and each other. I am fearing they are now taking the path of savagery. My life is in danger. Grave danger. Today Jack and the hunters went hunting. They were supposed to tend the fire. They failed to do the task that can get us all out of this island. They value the killing of pigs more than the fire. They had one job. My thoughts are jumbled. I apologize. The events that took place today uprooted me entirely. I was starting to believe that this island isn't so bad. No I have lost that piece of mind. I shall attempt to tell you what happened. Thinking about it makes me nauseous. Okay so Ralph, Piggy and I were all taking a bath in the pool. Piggy notices there isn't a fire burning at the mountain. Ralph storms up only to find no signal to our dismay. Matters quickly hit rock bottom. There was a ship in the distance that left us. It did not see us. The fire. Because the fire was out. Then the hunters showed up. The look on Ralphs face made me very afraid when he saw Jack. The hunters brought a slaughtered pig. They were chanting "Kill the pig. Cut her throat. Spill the blood." When I heard that, my humanity drained out of me and into the earth. They were literal savages. Jack was talking about how he cut the pigs throat, as if all he craved was bloodlust. The hunters were brutally emphasizing on the blood of the pig. It was as if they enjoyed taking the life of the pig. When Ralph confronted Jack, Piggy budded in and was slapped by Jack. A direct act of violence. Piggy's glasses broke. Thats the only thing that can make fire. Then Jack threw meat at us like a fierce angry impulsive beast. Things are falling apart. I cannot think about this any more. Ill go mad if I keep thinking about this.

Simon - Ishmam - 2/3/15

Today was such a tiring day. To be honest, everyone is a slacker except for Ralph, Jack and I. I was working on the shelters all day. All day, just me and Ralph, while all of the littluns, hunters and stragglers are doing absolutely nothing. To make things even more frustrating, I am starting to dislike this whole island survival thing as the days go. We do not really work together. All of us. Some of us just contribute absolutely nothing. If we all don't work together, we will not survive. The dead/missing littlun is the product of our fault to unite and we can't even realize the reality of this situation and work as one? This can't get any worse. They don't realize it. They think they are here to have fun without any ties to society. That will cause chaos. We are all dependant on adults, society, etc. We are just a bunch of kids brought right from a bubble of innocence into the harsh reality of independance. They don't realize yet. Also, the littluns are of absolute no use. They run around like little critters. Ralph cannot control them. He is not as good as I thought.

Lets see, what else? Oh yeah, I took a walk in the forest today as well with the littluns. I saw acres of fruit trees. I gave the littluns the fruit they could not reach. I left them and I went into deeper jungle. It was full of odds and creepers. The air felt dark. As I walked more, I found dark aromatic bushes. I saw a big fallen tree that was being supported by other trees. For a second I thought there was something there with me. Something inhuman. Like the spirit of nature. That place seemed so peaceful. So perfect to just let go of all of the worries. So serene. As it got darker, the place became cooler. The place became so dark and peaceful. Maybe, just maybe, I can get used to this.

Simon - Ishmam

Today was an interesting day. I don't quite know what to think of this situation. If I recall correctly, last time I was in a complete state of mush thinking that we will all die. More importantly, I thought I was going to die. A guy like me with little experience in the wild. I won’t make it very far on my own. But with Ralph as a leader, the group and I might actually have a chance. Today, he was able to singlehandedly bring up the group’s morale by telling us that we will be found. He said that his father is in the navy. I am hopeful that we will be found sooner or later. We made a big fire at the top of the mountain. Everyone was rallied up, despite the fact that one of the littluns claimed that he saw a serpent like creature. He later went missing in the burning forest. We have been on this island for a very short time and one of us is already missing or dead. What if I am next? I honestly need to stop thinking about those those things because I will loose my sanity if I persist. There is no telling. So far, we know that this island is a tropical island full of pigs. So there is sustenance. Piggy was bullied by Jack. To be honest, I don't quite like Jack. I feel like he is the weakest link. What else... oh yes. Ralph seems a bit ignorant sometimes, but he is a good leader. Piggy is a victim. Jack is animalistic. Oh and today we set some rules. Whoever has the conch has the right to speak and everyone else has to be quiet. Things have progressed today, but with a hefty sacrifice of a littluns life. All I can do is stay sane.